I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral. Microsoft's new AI chatbot has been saying some 'crazy and unhinged things' I 'd never roast plastic it's bad for the environment, Yo mama so hairy, when she went to the store, they said ``no pets allowed``, if I picked you up and dropped you the whole earth would cave in on its selfd, your existence is the reason cover 19 exists, if you became a manager of a store not even a Karen would speak to you. His name is Dudley. "You're boring." 27. Because the older she gets, the more hell love her. It says a lot and nothing good about a guy who would immediately jump to this insulting conclusion. Id spell it out for you, but thats assuming you know your ABCs. Earth has a population of over 7 billion, and I had to meet the biggest loser imaginable. The series of mental backflips I had to do to try and understand your point should have broken my neck. Shouldn't you be in the sewers because I've thought that you were a rat. Youre not pretty enough to have such an ugly personality. Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. /tts A rofl Train goes tichdvdtche tichdvdtche tichdvdtche tichdvdtche tichdvdtche wuuu wuuu wuuu tichdvdxtche tichdvdtche 11. Congrats! Row, row, row your boat gently down a raging fucking waterfall. Youre the reason the divorce rate is so high. For a second there, I thought you made a valid point. #6: "Sorry You Feel that Way. Keep rolling your eyes. I was just calling to let you know about your car insurance warranty. When you disappear, its a beautiful day. Youre an unscented candle in a store full of beautiful fragrances. Butts are nice. The middle one has to be you, An old teacher asked her student: If I say I am beautiful, which tense is that? The student replied: Its obviously past.. Youve got something on your face. Youre the whole royal family. I just lost my grandfather. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. 30. I would say my heart, but its just not as big. Kourtney Kardashian. I hope your next blowjob is from a shark. Can I have your name and phone number to call you back? Id explain it to you but I left my English-to-Dumbass Dictionary at home. You may stop farting now. Funny, I dont remember you raising your hand. Related: Why People Are So Mean And How To Deal With Them. 2 Reply BIGGERBOI69 4 yr. ago Everyone brings happiness to a room. Maybe eat makeup so you will be pretty on the inside. Isnt it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence? Until then, Im glad we have each other. Then I met you. I cant find them anywhere. You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail. If you like these mean roast jokes, please share this page with your friends now. 22 Hilarious Toxic Puns - Punstoppable 91 Short Jokes//172 Dad Jokes//91 Corny Jokes//75 Stupid Jokes//82 Dark Humor Jokes Light travels faster than sound which is why you seemed bright until you spoke. I'm so glad we have brown cows, otherwise there wouldn't be any chocolate milk. Toxic synonyms - 345 Words and Phrases for Toxic - Power Thesaurus When u were born ur mum said that u where a treasure! I found it in my business. You my friend, are a white crayon on white paper. Did I hurt your ego? When karma comes back to punch you in the face, I want to be there in case it needs help. I am simply giving you time to reflect on what an idiot you are being. The song Army of One is an ode to your loneliness. Laughter is known as the best medicine for a reason. You just take my breath away. Of all the goofballs in the world, you are my favorite. Im so glad we have brown cows, otherwise, there wouldnt be any chocolate milk. One says to the other: Do these genes make me look fat?. Here are some hilarious one-liners and funny quotes to toss into your conversations. 15 Hilarious Comebacks That Will Leave People Speechless 16. You're so fat when you ate at KFC the waiter served you the bucket on the roof. You win! However, its crucial to strike a balance between lightheartedness and being appropriate. Additionally, he loves to write zany fiction stories and take care of his pet frog. I want a typhoon. Funny Things To Say A Girl - 100+ Ideas To Make Her Yours - The Life Virtue Oh, you dont like being treated the way you treat me? When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you? Impersonating Beyonc is not your destiny, child. RuPaul. You might just find one. Parts of speech. Id let you have the last french fry. The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades. This question can surely make her smile after getting to know that she is the reason for your happiness. Were gonna party like arthritis isnt setting in and were too old for this crap. You can speak english?!? A balloon full of piss makes a bigger splash than your entire meaningless existence will on this planet. But its not a favor to remind someone of how they continue to disappoint your expectations of them, however reasonable you think those are. Id rather treat my babys diaper rash than have lunch with you. They know something is wrong, but they dont know what. "A toxic relationship is a dynamic between two or . dont be ashamed of yourself, thats your parents job! Lasts longer in bed, too. Someday youll go far. Chocolate milk comes from brown cows you know. People clap when they see you. Send me your location so I can kidnap you. Whoever told you to be yourself gave you really bad advice. "Why do you have to be such a b*tch?" 30. You call me your best friend, but where the heck were you when my selfie only got 4 likes? Everyone makes mistakes. Your face is just fine, but well have to put a bag over that personality. Allow me to be the first one. your so fat you can't even fit in in a thousand foot wide pool, You're the grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake, Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have 5 fingers, the middle ones for you. 22. I have a present for you. "I'm disappointed in you." 25. Any fan of the game will find these memes hilarious and relatable . Don't be ashamed of who you are-that's your parents' job. I love that super cute thing you do when you dont reply for 10 hours. Dont worry about me. You owe it an apology. Your secrets are always safe with me. Can you stop talking more often? Dont worry. Just beware of accidental miscommunications. 99 Unique, Fun, And Unexpected Ideas, Has He Gone Radio Silent? If this was a game of checkers, itd now officially be your move. Essentially, youre telling the other person you dont find their company or conversation stimulating. Lists. The 0.01% of germs are afraid of contracting stupidity from you. Our Conversation Mastery Course teaches you the secrets of master conversationalists and gives you the skills you need to have confident, engaging, and captivating conversations with anyone, anywhere. Sending a bunch of texts in a row can be a sign of neediness. Most Funny Random Things To Say My teeth itch. I only take you everywhere I go, so I dont have to kiss you goodbye. I present to you: absolutely fucking nothing. I forgot the world revolves around you. I thought of you today. "It's all in your head." 26. Your friends say the meanest things sometimes, dont they? Its your chance to pounce. I must have been imagining things. then when the doctor told her it was hers, she cried. Im sure youll enjoy that bonus content. They both run at the first sign of emotion. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Happy Independence Day! Symptoms may include fever, rash, skin peeling, and low blood pressure. Today marks the anniversary of the day you dove into the world head-first! You might want to tuck it back in. Im visualizing duck tape over your mouth. Maybe you should eat make-up so youll be pretty on the inside too. phrases. Id tell you to blow your brains out, but Im pretty certain theres nothing there. Your friends would be amused.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_4',197,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); If you like these savage roasts, youll also like this list of really funny comebacks, insults, and burns. If I could rearrange the alphabet Id put U and I together. Dismissing someone or something as gay is an insult to anyone with a homosexual orientation, because youre essentially using the word gay to mean bad or to refer to something you dont like. And I really hope you stay there. Friends buy you lunch. I know you got my last text because Cops doesnt start till 4. If I had a glass of water and you were on fire, I would, without a second thought, ignore my thirst and pour the water on you. You know, when you leave the room. Your breath is the reason for climate change. Youve probably seen someone stop another persons talking by putting a hand up to their face, as if to say, Talk to the hand. Its a rude and dismissive way of saying, I dont care about what youre saying.. Some of the people who use these expressions seem to think theyre doing others a favor by letting them know how theyre falling short. Im not always hungry; sometimes Im sleepy, too. If you were the light at the end of the tunnel, Id turn back around. "I hate that about you." 24. Its likely that theres something going on with that person that hasnt yet been addressed. This expression is used most often by males who think that a womans appearance is worth more to her than respect for her intelligence and autonomy. Id give you a nasty look, but youve already got one. Make sure you commit these to memory. When God made you, you must have been on the bottom of his to-do list. 13 Hilarious Arabic Swear Words and Phrases - Culture Trip "You're doing it wrong. A bit because of you, but mainly because of me. Mirrors cant talk. Oh, Im sorry. The fact that someone wakes up to your face in the morning should be alarming. Everyone around you just laughs because they think they have to." 7. By Kuldeep Thapa. I do not consider you a vulture. No, no. The people who know me the least have the most to say. These cute, silly comments are a great way to make him smile. IT SPEAKS! If Isaidanything to offend you it was purely intentional. So, get ready to say goodbye to the brutally cold St. Louis winter and give spring a huge warm welcome with one or more of these fantastically fun things to do in March 2023! I know players in this game can be really toxic at times but that was definitely . The only person falling for you is blind. Savage Comebacks. Funny Things to Say to Your Friends Laughter is known as the best medicine for a reason. While were alive, were likely to experience failure or success, as long as were still doing things and striving to reach our goals. Ultimately, if your expectations dont match theirs, theyll only act as a barrier. Its the sound of me not caring. Maybe we take some pleasure in finding a particularly apt insult for someone who has wronged us. Everyone brings happiness to a room. Toxic shock syndrome: Toxic shock syndrome (TSS) is a condition caused by bacterial toxins. In your case, theyre nothing. Youre like my fridge: always full of yourself yet offering an abundance of empty calories. The only way my husband would ever get hurt during an activity is if the TV exploded. I feel so sorry for your parents. While we really, really don't want to think about that, it . Thank you for calling! If youre going to be a smart ass, first you have to be smart, otherwise youre just an ass. I have five fingers, and the third one is for you. Using the word triggered, though, is insensitive to those who struggle with a real mental illness or with deep, emotional trauma. Good. The last time I saw a face like yours, I fed it a banana. Most doctors are too busy addressing emergencies to devote much attention to non-emergency mystery illnesses. 3. How much of a refund do you expect on your head, since its empty? Forget about the presentI didnt get you one! 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